Trouble with Potty Training: Why Daddy’s Don’t Like to Take Their Daughter’s Into the Restroom

WARNING:  This post contains some content you may find too adult.

Ladies, you won’t understand this, but you must accept it as fact: men’s restrooms are fundamentally different than women’s restrooms.  You see, I have a three year old and a two year old, both girls.  It isn’t that I don’t want my daughters to be potty trained, it isn’t that I think my wife should do everything all the time, it isn’t that I don’t want to deal with wiping butts – it is one thing, a bunch of one things.  Jovi (my oldest child) got serious about potty training a little more than a year ago (between two-and-a-half and three).  Why don’t I want to be the one taking her to the restroom at the mall, the grocery store, or almost any public restroom?  Penises.

When children reach potty training age (and for the next couple of years) they are at the exact right (WRONG) height – crotch height.  Their little, innocent eyes are wide open to see every disgusting aspect of what is a men’s restroom.  There are three types of men’s restrooms:
Single Person
Multi-Person Empty
Multi-Person Busy

Fit for a princess!
Fit for a princess!

A Single Person men’s restroom isn’t too bad, as long as you bring your own cleaning supplies.  Unless you are the first person in the restroom after it was cleaned (and sometimes even then) it will be dirty, pee on the seat, the outside of the bowl, the floor around the commode – sometimes more than pee…  I don’t know why, bad aim does not discriminate based on age, but too often these messes go beyond that.  You can wipe the seat off with a wipe, then put down a sanitary napkin, and when she pulls down her pants/shorts/skirt her panties will rub against the outside of the bowl, WHICH IS GROSS!

Let's parade past all the urinals...
Daddy, how do you sit on those?

A Multi-Person empty is the same way TIMES TEN, with the added risk of someone walking in while you’re in there AND a urinal is usually present.  What’s the big deal about urinals?  Kids like to touch things, they are even more dirty than a commode – but smell better because of those “cakes” (not that kind of cake Jaspyn, keep moving), and if a guy starts using one he will be standing there, penis in hand, while you march the most important thing on this planet past him – and guess what:  a lot of guys don’t care who sees their penis.  Ya, those weirdos assume that if someone looks it’s because they want to see it, not because THEY’RE THREE YEARS OLD AND DON’T KNOW ANY BETTER, so use your hands to cover-up your man-parts while I try to cover my child’s eyes or carry her while dealing with a diaper bag, another child if I’m with both kids by myself, and any bags or boxes we acquired while out and about.

Yeah, like I got a picture of a bunch of random dudes using the bathroom...
Yeah, like I got a picture of a bunch of random dudes using the bathroom…

And a Multi-Person Busy is pretty much a nightmare.  There are people actively getting the place dirtier, with their penises out, and sometimes (it seems like all the time) I have to wait for a stall to open up – which involves keeping her distracted from looking at other people, asking for quarters for the “balloon dispenser” at some gas stations, and not losing our place in line.  Then when one opens up I have to usher her past the urinals, clean the stall, usher back, wash our hands, and leave – all while not letting her see anything below the waist of the strangers who are too busy with their penises to think about their penises – read it again, it doesn’t make sense. The only people who seem to consistently react to a young girl in their restroom with extra discretion are preteen boys.

Oh, and changing diapers isn’t any better…

2 thoughts on “Trouble with Potty Training: Why Daddy’s Don’t Like to Take Their Daughter’s Into the Restroom

  • November 25, 2015 at 9:26 PM
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    wow, that was a good post, and some men, a lot of men, are disgusting….. of course the single locked restroom is ideal for everyone – parents with little kids, ladies with feminine issues, men with their penis hanging out, and transgender people, I always prefer a single locked restroom like my neighborhood Starbucks.

    Reply
  • January 26, 2016 at 1:22 PM
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    I don’t have any daughters( or children for that matter) but I’ve been in a men’s room before when a father has brought his little girl in and always tried to be as respectful/discreet about it as can be. Leaning into the urinal or covering myself up, as reasonable as can without pissing on my hands, of course. Especially if I’m going while he’s washing her hands which is when she’s likely to be looking around.

    I told a guy once who came out of a stall with his daughter that I wouldn’t have started if I’d known there was a female child in there and he said, “That’s ok, no harm done.”

    Reply

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