Things to Remember in the Event of a Zombie Apocalypse – Part 1

The only things we really know about zombies are things we’ve made up. But not letting that stop me, here are the first five of my top ten tips of 2012 to deal with zombies!

Keep Your Mouth Shut
There are two reasons for this. Number 1, who wants zombie blood in their mouth? If you are re-killing the undead in close quarters blood will get on you, and unless you are in a hazard suit it will likely get on you face at some point. If your mouth is open because you’re screaming at your assailant or for help from someone else, or you’re breathing like an Olympian after a race, you might as well be saying “Please toss some infected coagulating blood from the walking mass of rotten flesh and bones into my gaping mouth.” No one wants that once they think about it. And number 2, as we have all learned from TV and movies, zombies are pack animals, pack animals who are more aggressive than dire wolves and dumber than cows, and they respond in an investigatory fashion to loud noises.

Blades Don’t Run Out of Bullets
This does mean you’ll get messy. We all have agreed that the way to kill a zombie is to sever its brain connection to end function. Bullets may get hard to get, if you even have a gun, and you’ll have to reload eventually. Having some long blades and short blades available to you (sword, spear, scythe, hunting knife, double sided axe) is a must for your long-term survival. They are also quieter.

Guns Can Kill From Long Distances
Hopefully you see them before they see you; this usually means you are not within arm’s reach. Unlike blades, guns can be used to rapidly take down multiple targets from ten or more feet away (sniper rifle, machine gun, pistol if you’ve got good aim). But what about my last tip? You’ll want to keep the blades nearby, but when the time is right you should definitely use a firearm. Shotguns are not recommended as a primary firearm. Guns risk less exposure (meaning your less likely to get wounded) to you physically because of the distance between you and the target, but more exposure to your location because of the noise. Granted you have the ammo to use, you can take out the zombies in sight and move on or get some place safe quick enough.. They do make silencers for many firearms.

Stay in Small Groups
Large populations of healthy people are likely to be unnaturally noisy and smelly (just ask a dog, there are sounds and smells everywhere that you choose to ignore) and are prone to attract zombies. Groups of people are great because it gives you backup, you’re better able to defend a space, and can form a civil structure to allow for more than just trying to survive. But getting more than twenty or so people in one place is likely to be more of a danger than an asset.

Get Clean Water
Eventually your supply of bottled water is going to run out, plus it is heavy to carry. Finding water that can be made potable (such as from a well, a creek that is not connected to a sewer, or trapping rainwater) and cleaning it further is ideal. You will need a mobile filtration system if you are on the move. I have one all planned out, but that would be a whole post on its own. Remember, basic filtering removes particulates but not a bacteria, mold, and parasites; boiling kills many bacteria and parasites but doesn’t mean you can store the water for long; and drinking distilled water in large amounts or on a regular basis will make you sick; consumable alcohol can be used to help sterilize other liquids.

Thank you Fast Icon for the featured image I used.