Air Date: August 13, 2017
Description: I eat cake, and green beans – not at the same time though, that’s disgusting.
In the small circle in-which I run, and it is a SMALL circle (I don’t get out much), I’m not particularly known for eating well. Uh, I have woken people up in the middle of the night with new ice cream sundae ideas that they should try… and they’ve thanked me for it. Um, but, people are always surprised when they see me eating something healthy. As if the fact that I am not ashamed to eat multiple giant soft pretzels, uh, for no good reason, precludes me from being able to eat salad. So, when someone I know sees me eating healthy, a lot of times they’ll be like “Kyle, I didn’t know you would eat XYZ.” Yeah, it’s food and it tastes good. That’s my [prerequisite] for what I put in my mouth; Does it taste good, and will it hurt me. That second rule is a lot looser than the first rule. If you tell me, “Oh, I can make cauliflower taste just like mashed potatoes…” No, you can’t! You’re a liar and are going to burn in hell, because that CAN’T be done. And if you can do it, it must involve witchcraft, and then in that case, God have mercy on your soul. But if you’re like “Kyle, I’ve got this Whole 30 chicken recipe that’s pretty good.” I’d be like, “Yeah, you probably do.” I believe that. Right now everybody is so caught up in being healthy… Why not eat good food and then make it healthy instead of eating healthy and then make it good. I think all these people are coming at it from the wrong direction. Find something good and try to make it healthy. And you know what? You might not be able to. And that’s okay! There’s not a healthy version of every dish; somethings are healthy, some things aren’t. And that’s okay! If you want to eat healthy, GREAT. But don’t assume that just because I don’t mind eating a cake every once in a while, and yes I said “a cake”, not “a piece of cake”. That doesn’t mean I can’t also enjoy some vegetables every once in a while too.