Airplane food

I am in Guatemala now. We flew continental (as usual) down here. On the plane was a “snack”. A chicken sandwich, salad, and a brownie. Now, these items are not normally bad, but in this case only the brownie would I label as good (it was a prepackaged item that was radically unhealthy. The sandwich was piece chicken flavored fried soft rubber on really dry bread; the only sauce we got was Dijonnaise, no catsup/ketchup (vote on your favorite spelling below). And the salad was okay, but only came with one dressing, Honey Dijon. Mr. Dijon has a monopoly on airline condiments. Here’s a tip to everyone, if you get a soda on the plane ask for a can, nine times out of ten they will give you the can, which is equal to three cups w/ice. Now here’s the funny part: when I got my food, and had finished asking about the condiments I pulled out my utensil (a plastic fork). I turned to my right and said Jeremy (over person and across the aisle (to grandmother’s house we go…)), ”Jeremy, I will trade you my salad, with the dressing, and this fork with someone’s lipstick on it, for pretty much anything!” Until now I had only guessed that airlines washed and reused utensils, but now I know for sure. I buzzed the attendant and asked “Can I have a new fork, this one still has someone else’s lipstick on it?” She responded like it happens all the time, “Yes sir, here you go.”

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